Love

They do not love that do not show their love.

The course of true love never did run smooth.

Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love.

-William Shakespeare-

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Perfectly Fake

People are always trying to hide something from the people around them, whether it's that extra belly hanging over your pants or the crack on that vase in your dining room. We want people to look at us as healthy, fresh humans who never mess things up or hurts someone. Therefor we want to be perfectly fake.

I had went for a run in the evening. I had chosen a track who were mostly in the forest since I don't like running on asphalt. I started to walk fast from the doorstep of my house with my headphones on my ears with the loudest house music and the gravel beside our lawn under my feet. I started to feel my pulse getting stronger and I could feel my own heartbeats. Later after a couple of songs as I reached the forest I decided to start running. I ran for about five minutes, then I had to stop and start walking again, the sweat was all over my forehead and my breathing was strong. I kept running and walking by turns till I reached the asphalt road. After 45 minutes my body was pounding and I started to feel tired.

Suddenly, I see my neighbour from the big city, walking fast, about 500 meters away from me. She's a very good athlete and runs fifteen minutes without barley get out of breath. I wanted to prove my best to her, brag a little bit. So I started to run slowly towards her, I was almost home, I could do this, long steps, long steps... 
I managed to run all the way home, but I felt like dying right there on the floor. Why did I do like that? Why did I wanted to prove myself just as good as her? I wanted to be perfectly fake. 

I started to think as I took my shoes off and turned off the music. I bet she has flaws too... Nobody is flawless, I might not be the best runner, the best athlete or anything with sports, but I have skills too.
I think that everyone does this a little now and then, if we feel insecure with someone we don't know too well, or if we meet a new person we start to talk about our lifes and just tear the truth a bit, just a bit.

I don't know why all of us do this, but we do. We want to show off as greater and better than everyone around us. We are insecure of what people will think of us if we have one little flaw, if we got a crack on our vase in the dining room, we think people will judge us for being poor and not affording a new one, or if we got a bit larger belly than they do, or less muscles, the will judge us as unhealthy.

But how far can we draw the line for Perfectly Fake and Very Fake? We can't brag too much because then people will understand immediately that we are liars. Do you want to cover up your own bragging with new bragging, turning in to lies? We need to think about our life and others life, there will be ups and downs, even the richest, most beautiful, most successful human beings are having the most shitty times of their life, just as me and you.

Happiness - Luck - Luxury

Everyone search for luck and happiness in life. Most people also search for luxury. I've been wondering what happiness, luxury and luck is for almost 15 years. Is it when we have someone to love, a partner, or is it when we can spend £200 on a shopping day, or is it to be healthy and safe and have a normal paid job and a family to come home to? I don't know, but what I do know, is that there are different states of luxury, happiness and luck. I have a good example for you that happened to me earlier this evening.

Me and my father were walking in the forest by noon, the sun was shining trough the trees and we walked on a trampled, small pathway with the rushing creek beside it. The moss were growing old and large deep in the forest and the air was damp, as right after the rain had passed. The whole forest acted a bit magical that evening, the water-drops rested on the leafs on the trees sparkling in the sun. We saw a few blueberries growing on a small bush. I picked four of them and chewed on them, they tasted amazing. Just like late-summer-berries should taste like, sweet and sour, yet not too sour or too sweet, just perfect. Dad later saw a few cloud berries he picked some and ate them, so did I with the orange fluffy berries. A piece of heaven, maybe that's why they are called cloud berries? Dad started talking as we began to walk again.

- "It's growing a lot of berries this autumn, I hope they will continue to grow", he said.

- "Yeah, that would be great! Blueberries taste so good...", I answered his saying.

I kept talking as he didn't say anything.

- "What do you think luxury is, dad?"

- "Well, it's different things" He answered.

- "Name three of them"

- "I think going on vacation with my family is pure luxury, being able to sleep late in the morning and this."

- "This?"

- "Yes, dear, walking around in the nature finding what the nature has to offer, berries, mushrooms, animals and the beauty of the forest, that, and being able to spend time with my only daughter is luxury as well."

Dad made me think of things in life, why had he decided to marry my mother, have two children, a home, a Mercedes, then divorce my mother, and then build a house of his own? Or didn't he choose these things? Was it just happening without no reasons, did he ever find happiness and luck and even luxury in these things. At some points I think he did, most of the time actually. 

What do we really want in life as we may choose? There are so many options for us humans today. But if you choose the wrong option you can and will get in lots of trouble, if you think you choose the right option, but then it turned out to be all wrong, what is it worth then? 

Is luxury something we need, or just something we want, the same with happiness and luck, do we need that stuff or do we just want it? Happiness, luck and luxury are things we are aware of that they exist, and we know people who has it, or at least it seems so. But what is happiness, luck and luxury to you?  

Cloud Berries - Luxury to my father